Can you say it for Me? (TheAnimeMan x Einshine)
by Appleplantchild
Summary: A short romantic drama for my OTP youtubers Joey & Einshine ! Einshine just seems like the kind that struggles to come to terms with his feelings... I'll be happy if Joey reads this, but terrified if Einshine does...fml
He had said something he didn't mean.
He hadn't wanted to say it, but it had slipped out of his lips tied with the bitterness. It had the intensity of what he had **wanted** to say, but not the words themselves.  
Einshine cradled his cellphone between both his hands staring down at it. He was half-hoping Joey would call or text him but he also knew he would ignore it even if he did since he was meant to be angry.  
 _Is it really a good reason to be angry?_

But the frustration building up in him, didn't allow him to disregard it easily. _  
_Joey had gone out and gotten himself a girlfriend in Australia when all the plans had already been made so he would move to Japan.  
He was ruining _everything_. What was even the point of getting a girlfriend in another **country** if he would leave her behind?  
Or maybe, perhaps, he wouldn't and Joey would end up changing his mind about the move.  
 **Whatever** the outcome, this was all a terrible choice on Joey's part.  
 _CALL ME ALREADY SO I CAN KEEP TELLING YOU ABOUT HOW THIS IS A_ _ **BAD**_ _IDEA._  
Joey had seemed offput at Shine's anger, as if he thought he was being ridiculous, and that only made Shine angrier.  
 _CALL ME ALREADY SO I CAN TELL YOU HOW_ _ **STUPID**_ _YOU ARE._  
But Joey didn't call all that night and bitterness steeped in Shine's thoughts.  
 _I...why am I so angry? I don't want to be angry over this...  
Joey didn't seem to think this would change our plans in any way but it's still so...  
It could be...I could just be bitter he got a girlfriend before I did...  
That really..._

* * *

「Are you still mad bro (≖͞_≖̥)  
-Joey」

Shine groaned, rolling over in bed as he allowed his eyes to adjust to the morning brightness.

「Should I still be mad about something? （￣へ￣）  
-Einshine」

「I didn't really understand why you were angry to begin with (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
-Joey」

Shine stared at his phone screen for a few seconds unsure of how he should word his answer without seeming excessively cross.

「If you're going to come live in Japan why do you need a girlfriend over there? LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS DON'T WORK! ლಠ益ಠ)ლ  
-Einshine」

Almost immediately, Joey replied:

「It did for us (◡‿◡✿)」

Shine knew Joey was playing into the ongoing joke they were a couple, but it still made his insides flop. He tried to reply something but the slight racing in his head didn't let him sort his words out.  
He placed his phone down and sat up in bed.  
His slender pale fingers found themselves tracing up his own neck and he shuddered slightly.  
 _That made me happy, but_  
A slight panic overtook Shine's insides and he didn't dare finish that thought.  
 _I..._  
Shine reached once more behind him and grabbed his phone.

「So she won't make you change your mind? You're still coming?  
-Einshine」

Right after he sent it, he could feel slight anxiety creep into him.  
Could Joey see through him? Could he tell how bitter Shine was over this girlfriend of his?  
What if he thought Shine was jealous?  
 _Of what !?  
_ _ **I don't know!**_

Shine rubbed his hair vigorously in an attempt to shake off his anxiety.

「I already made up my mind? Besides, Liz said something about wanting to visit Japan, so I might take her with me (*´∀`*)  
-Joey」

Liz? His girlfriend's name was Liz? Einshine could feel something boiling deep within him that made him want to tear off the hair in his scalp and run around screaming, but he collected himself and calmly stared at his screen.

「Cat won't like her. You shouldn't.  
-Einshine」

「ಠ_ಠ Cat can fight me ಠ_ಠ  
-Joey」

「I'm on Cat's side? The house will be cramped ಠ_ಠ  
-Einshine」

「YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED CAT ABOUT IT, WHY ARE YOU」  
An incomplete message, and then:  
「Are you jealous or something?  
-Joey」

Einshine's knuckles became paler from gripping his phone.  
He placed it down and stared aimlessly into his wall.  
 _What.  
Why..?  
Am I jealous?  
Angry?  
What do I want?_  
Einshine placed his hand down over his phone.  
 _What do I want?_  
He felt his phone vibrate under his fist.  
Joey's message flashed.

「What do I do, then?  
-Joey」

 _I don't know..._

 _ **I don't know!**_  
Einshine stood from bed and leaving his phone behind, grabbed his shower towel from a nearby chair.  
 _I could... I could go out and film all day, I don't have to think about this at all…_

As Shine arrived home later that day he wondered vaguely whether Joey had gone back home already. He dumped his equipment into a corner of his room and picked up his phone from his bed almost anxiously.

「2 UNREAD MESSAGES」

Somehow, Shine felt a bit disappointed it wasn't more.

「I'll drop by before going to the airport  
-Joey」  
And then a few hours later:  
「Nobody was home? I'll see you next time then! (;-_-)ノ  
-Joey」

Einshine's insides flooded with a mixture of disappointment and anger. He stared down at the screen of his phone before whispering  
" _Sorry_."  
He then looked back at his wall blankly and toppled over on his bed seeming exhausted.

「Were you out filming yesterday? How did it go? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
-Joey」

「Yes  
-Einshine」

「Yes? ( ˘･з･)  
-Joey」

Shine sat up from bed and placed his phone aside.  
He wasn't exactly angry, but the strong feeling of bitterness in him didn't let him forgive Joey for whatever reason.  
His phone vibrated again.

「Are you angry? Why are you angry? (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
-Joey」

「No  
-Einshine」

「No? (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
-Joey」

Shine stifled a laugh as he stood from bed and trudged his way out into the bathroom.  
Being cruel was oddly satisfying.  
Even if he couldn't seem to point even to himself why he was so upset, he was glad to be able to make Joey as confused as he was.  
 _There was some filming I wish I had done, I should finish it up early so I have more time to edit..._  
Shine yawned and gathered his equipment once more to head out the door.  
As he stepped out, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket once more.

「If you don't tell me why you're angry I'll assume you don't want me to live with you anymore (ಥ﹏ಥ)  
-Joey」

「Do what you want  
-Einshine」

" _HOW CAN YOU TYPE SUCH MEAN THINGS WITH A SMILING FACE?_ "  
Einshine jumped and shock flooded his face as Joey himself stood before him, right outside his street as if waiting to ambush him.  
"HADN'T YOU GONE BACK TO AUSTRALIA ALREADY? WHY ARE YOU HERE?"  
Joey shrugged and stood off a bit awkwardly.  
"I did book a flight, but I ended up not boarding... It all really bugged me so I wanted to talk to you before leaving."  
Einshine shrugged a bit, and remembering how he had acted so rude and demanding before made a hot red blush flood his cheeks in embarrassment.  
"I really am okay," Shine emphasized while holding a hand up to his chest, "I'm not really upset or anything..."  
Joey brushed a few strands of hair off his face self-consciously.  
"It didn't seem like it..."  
Shine puffed out his cheeks and started stepping away. "Just..." he sighed, "just leave already, we don't have anything to say, anyways."  
Shine stepped away and started walking off.  
Joey stayed in place.  
 _What I want.  
What I want from him.  
What I want to tell him, what I want him to say...  
It all is..._  
Einshine could feel Joey's eyes on his back as he walked.  
 _If he leaves, he'll go back to his girlfriend.  
What will he think about?  
About how much he likes her?_  
The strap on the bag of his equipment seemed to dig deeper into his shoulder.  
Or was his body getting heavier?  
How many chances would he have to be alone with Joey? To tell him unrestrained all of his thoughts, how he felt?  
How he felt.  
His feelings.  
How he felt for Joey.  
Einshine looked over his shoulder and saw Joey's shape becoming farther as he began to walk in the opposite direction.  
A sudden urge to run to him overwhelmed him.  
He turned around and stared after Joey, gripping the bag on his shoulder closer to his body he shook all over.  
 _Don't go away yet...  
I want...  
What do I want?  
I want  
_ _ **I don't know!**_  
Einshine's breath began to jag as he stared after Joey getting farther and farther away.  
 _ **I don't want you to go back to anybody!**_  
Shine's insides seemed to freeze.  
 _What?  
I want what?  
I want Joey to not belong to anybody else._

 _I want..._

 _I want him all for myself._  
An electrifying impulse ran through Shine's body and he stared down at his own hands overwhelmed in shock.  
 _I want him to like me.  
I want him to love only me._  
Without a second thought Einshine lifted his chin, cried Joey's name as if forced out of his lungs.  
His throat became sore and the cry became a sob in his lips towards the end.  
Realization of his situation overwhelmed him.  
He was in love with Joey. Joey had a girlfriend to return to.  
He felt his legs grow weak under him and he brought his pale fingers up to his lips and began to sob into them.  
" _Don't go Joey, don't leave me yet..._ "  
Shine felt a warm embrace over his shoulders.  
 _If I don't say anything, or if I do, how many more times will he leave...?  
What difference would saying anything do?_  
"How long do you want me to stay?"  
 _Not "how long"..._  
"Do you want to be alone?"  
 _No..._  
"It's...it's fine, I'll just go."  
Einshine blinked his eyes open and saw Joey begin to step away from him.  
 _If I say something will it change anything?  
How many more times would he leave?_  
Einshine looked up behind Joey's head as he crouched over the floor.  
"I'm in love with you."  
Joey turned around, barely catching his words. "What was that?"  
" _I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU._ "  
As Shine gained courage he jumped up the floor and threateningly stomped in front of Joey.  
" _ **I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, JOEY.**_ " He stated once again.  
Joey's eyes were fixed on Shine, but he dropped them and turned away fixating them on a spot on the floor.  
"We're both...guys, Shine..."  
Those words made Shine lose his boldness almost immediately. He fixed his eyes emptily to a spot on the pavement.  
"I mean...I do find you attractive and everything, but is it really worth the trouble?"  
Shine cracked his sight away to the spot under Joey's feet.  
"I...didn't think it through." Shine felt his smile flex almost automatically. "It would be kind of difficult, right? Being prejudiced and all..."  
A feeble laugh escaped his lips.  
Joey pressed his lips down and stepped away.  
"I'll... See you later."  
 _That's it._  
Those words clung to Shine's thoughts.  
 _That's it.  
That's it?_  
They echoed disappointingly.  
 _It's done? That's it?_  
And then:  
 _It can't be..._  
Shine grind his teeth almost painfully.  
He stared at Joey's back and bit down the urge to scream.  
 _Don't go yet...Not yet...  
If he leaves...that's it?_  
"Don't you like me even a little...?"  
If he leaves...  
"Not even a little?"  
If he leaves...  
"I can like you enough for both of us."  
If he leaves...  
" _Don't leave yet...not yet..._ "  
" _No..._ "  
" _No..._ "  
" _No..._ "  
Before Shine knew it the words had blurted louder and louder out of his lips until he had to grip his hand over his mouth to keep himself from screaming.  
 _No..._  
" _Don't leave anymore...How much do I have to say so you won't leave anymore...?_ "  
Shine gripped his face with both hands as if attempting to keep his emotions themselves in grip. Even then, his tears trickled between his fingers and jagged his breath.  
"Don't...don't do that anymore, Shine...it looks painful..."

 _If he leaves...  
I'll lose my chance forever._  
Shine felt the warm touch grip him once more, this time holding up his shoulders to push him up.  
As he looked up Joey was looking right back at him.  
 _It's a nice feeling, to know you have all the attention of the person you love..._  
"If it makes only both of us happy, would that be enough for you?"  
 _What I want..._  
"Would I really be enough for you?"  
 _What I wish..._  
"I...yes, Shine."  
 _What I wish..._  
"Then, never leave me again."  
 _Is to be with you forever._


End file.
